Searching for solace

Probably the first time in about five months, i am feeling so depressed right now. First time in about a year or so, it feels as if I have lost control of my life.

Actually, I went to meet a friend who just had an eye operation. A conversation just happened and we talked about what we are doing after completing four years of engineering studies, about the impact of recession, about the lack of job opportunities these days. During all this, i realized that its not me whos controlling my life these days, but the situations that surround me are taking decisions on my behalf, or so to speak, i have completely lost track of what i want from life.

It wasn't always this way. I along with my friends probably were among the few 20-30 students who got placed with IT companies at the start of the placement season. Life felt a fairy tale then onwards. We lived life king size, cared about nothing, future looked so certain. We felt as if our dreams would materialize in a couple of years from now!

But alas, things took a drastic turn once we stepped out of college life. IT companies just keep postponing our date of joinings almost at will. A couple of us friends have found jobs not worthy but good enough to keep us financially ticking.

And today, i think, is it really what i wanted from life? Is this what would make me fulfill my dreams? Am i putting in enough efforts to meet the challenges i face? My mind's all messed up. I feel like quitting my temporary job. But if i did, what will i do? where will i go? Going for further studies is the only option left. But even then, i have to go through the remaining six months! How will i do that? Would i get my date of joining in the meantime?

These are just a few of the questions that i seek answers for! O Almighty, help me please. I am all fucked up....provide me solace!

Hare Krisna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare!