Continuity

Ever since I got adsense approved. I somehow lost track of how to carry the blog forward. Now, I realize that rather than making it a tool to earn a few bucks, I would rather let it be my personal space. I am much better this way, letting out my secrets, my wishes, my desires, my anger, my love, my every thought. So, from today onwards

rather than making my blog a commercialized product. I would keep it simple as it used to be earlier. Once a friend of mine told me, your first blog is like your baby. I didn't realize the significance of his words then. But now, I realize the importance of what he said. Maybe this is the reason, ever since I tried using my baby to earn revenue, I lost interest in the whole process. So, I hope I would keep this in mind from now on and would search for alternatives to earn revenue ;) What say?

Blogging

I am a newbie in the blogosphere. Every now and then, I am coming across new things. The journey has been entertaining so far. Here, I list down everything I've done till date to learn the skills of blogging.

I entered the blog world to share my thoughts, my compositions with my friends. Then, I thought of making it more popular, letting the whole world know what I'm writing about. About two months back, I met Harsh Agarwal who guided me on how to earn some money while I blog. Initially, I rejected the thought, but then, who can stay away from money ?

I tried everything I can to get an Adsense approval, but always got the rejection mail stating various feedbacks from google. I had almost given up, when one fine day, a mail in my inbox stated that I've been approved for adsense. I couldn't believe at first. But, when I saw ads on my blog page, I realized that first step was indeed accomplished and now its time to improvize on the fact.

Harsh left midway, though his help is never afar, I tried to be on my own. Though, I'm still not popular, what I found as the best means to popularize a blog are as follows :

Digg
StumbleUpon
Twitter
Feedburner

and the most important part is socializing and making friends in the blogworld who share your thoughts.

One day, I plan to buy a domain and become successful in this new thing I've started doing. But, before that I need to learn a lot and be innovative and original with every post I write.

Would keep you updated on this....

Vote For Earth

Its strange, isn't it? All this while we lived and enjoyed our lives, we somehow forgot to acknowledge the most integral part of our lives, the only planet that offers life. The planet which is the sole reason of our existence, our very own Mother Earth.

Now, some people have come up with this brilliant idea of letting the big-shots of the world know that it matters for us and we won't let them ruin our planet forever. This year when world leader gathers in Copenhagen for the Global Climate Conference to decide the course of our future, they would have to choose between Earth and Global Warming.

To make them realize how we care, a unprecedented voting is going to take place on the 28th of March, and how? We need to switch off our lights for one hour i.e., 8.30 PM to 9.30 PM.

So, if we leave our lights open in this one hour, we would choose Global Warming against Earth. Its as simple as that, you have to choose between life and death.

To help you decide, check this out



I am opting for life, what about you?

Burning Pakistan : Should we be concerned?

The current political turmoil took new heights when Nawaz Sharif defied the house ban imposed on him by the Pakistan government and instead came out on the streets of Pakistan and continued his "Long March".

Me

This is me or was that me
was the earlier me real or the now me real
the doubts creep in my head
the identity
my own identity seems to be running away from me

I wanna catch it now
I wanna hold it close
And search the real me
though it would have been easier if I had known
which part of me I own

Confusions, contradictions bug my head
I just want to run away
Run away from the pain
Run away from the love
Run away from everything that was me

I was an honest one
did I corrupt my mind
did the world do this to me
I got no answers
Running away seem so right

Confusions, contradictions bug my head
I just want to run away
Run away from the pain
Run away from the love
Run away from everything that was me

How to get Rich?

My ambitions ask me to get rich fast. I am still trying to figure out a path :(

The Footsteps

The footsteps of my journey echo clear and loud,
i would have been lost in the crowd.
Its way beyond comprehension for me and for you,
to deny it all would be absurd!

The footsteps, they say, never lie
i tried to ignore it, overcome it, but couldn't succeed
The toughts in me head say,
if it hadn't been for you, i wouldn't have come afar.

Thou shalt stay with me forever,
its not my command but a wish.
If i could behold you and whisper in your ears,
Life became a blessing the day you entered it.

The footsteps of love would remain etched in my memory,
if i may, i would never be able to thank you.
The words, as they may sound untrue to you,
come straight from the soul, are waiting to be owned by you.

Slumdog Millionaire: Looking back

The much awaited 81st Annual Academy Awards night arrived on 23rd February 2009 (IST). Indian audience expected it to be a night (or, should i say early morning!) they would never forget and Slumdog Millionaire certainly didn't disappoint.

Slumdog Millionaire swept the world from its feet, bagging as much as 8 academy awards. Indians rejoiced as the awards were for a movie that was based on India. Except for the director and the producer, every one involved with the film were indians, be it the champion musician A.R. Rahman or the star cast of Dev Patel and Freida Pinto. Infact, the childhood of the lead actors were portrayed by kids from Mumbai Slums. Also, the fact that the movie was an adapted play of Vikas Swarup's Q & A, made every indian feel proud of Oscar's home-coming.

But has the Indian Film Industry finally been acknowledged. I doubt so. Lagaan that went to the oscars as India's official entry a few years back was on par, if not better, than Slumdog Millionaire. It was nominated but couldn't appease the jury. I also doubt the fact that if Slumdog had been made by an indian director and producer, things would have been the same. The only happiness i get is from the fact that the champion musician has been acknowledged finally. A.R. Rahman has produced so many breathtaking hits year after year for so long. Dare i say, even an Oscar is not sufficient to justify his legendary talent.

Wish an Indian Movie with everyone indian associated from head to toe, gets the coveted trophy sometime soon. Till then, hail the SlumDog, and bask in its success. (Not much of options we have, do we ?)

Searching for solace

Probably the first time in about five months, i am feeling so depressed right now. First time in about a year or so, it feels as if I have lost control of my life.

Actually, I went to meet a friend who just had an eye operation. A conversation just happened and we talked about what we are doing after completing four years of engineering studies, about the impact of recession, about the lack of job opportunities these days. During all this, i realized that its not me whos controlling my life these days, but the situations that surround me are taking decisions on my behalf, or so to speak, i have completely lost track of what i want from life.

It wasn't always this way. I along with my friends probably were among the few 20-30 students who got placed with IT companies at the start of the placement season. Life felt a fairy tale then onwards. We lived life king size, cared about nothing, future looked so certain. We felt as if our dreams would materialize in a couple of years from now!

But alas, things took a drastic turn once we stepped out of college life. IT companies just keep postponing our date of joinings almost at will. A couple of us friends have found jobs not worthy but good enough to keep us financially ticking.

And today, i think, is it really what i wanted from life? Is this what would make me fulfill my dreams? Am i putting in enough efforts to meet the challenges i face? My mind's all messed up. I feel like quitting my temporary job. But if i did, what will i do? where will i go? Going for further studies is the only option left. But even then, i have to go through the remaining six months! How will i do that? Would i get my date of joining in the meantime?

These are just a few of the questions that i seek answers for! O Almighty, help me please. I am all fucked up....provide me solace!

Hare Krisna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare!

President Barrack Obama : The Renaissance Artist?

The entire world is on the verge of collapse. I say this, not only because of the looming recession that has taken the world by surprise. But, partly because of the fact that everyone seems to be taken aback by the recession and the fact that people's confidence in one's inner self as well as on the external factors has been severly dented. Add to this the fact that countries just don't want to step back from the war situations that are arising these days. They just tend to ignore the fact that the war could only speed up the arrival of the doomsday!

In these times of distress, the change in the leadership of the 'always so powerful nation' USA, has provided a ray of hope for those affected the most by these turbulent times. President Barrack Obama, as he is known to the world has a tough task ahead. He has to make sure that not only he revives his country's falling economy, but also ensure that the world be a safer place to live in. He is being hailed by many as the renaissance artist - as the person who would revive the fortunes and bring back smiles on people' face.

The war against terror has only brought destruction, and its a welcome step that he intends to call back his army from the destroyed land of the middle-east. His bill to ensure that americans are given preference for a job has many people outside america worried, as it would mean an end to their "American Dreams" but they tend to ignore the larger picture. Everyone knows that america has to be back on its feet to improve the market conditions. And what Obama has been doing would only ensure peace and happiness in the time to come.

Still, its a long road ahead for Mr. President, but he seems to be savouring every moment of his new role. Step back everyone, the change has only begun and "Yes, We can"!!

Study Abroad :O

Should i or shouldn't i is what bothers me when i think of pursuing my dreams in the current market conditions. Of late, i have been really very busy trying to answer the questions in my head? Moreover, thinking about US is a big no, as Mr. President Obama Barrack is planning to make his country a better economy by tightening the plugs on immigrants, more so, the H1-B visa holders.

I am left with the two options : UK or Australia. And i am a bit biased towards, UK, given the fact that its more international and sounds more royal! Also, London seems an expensive place, but when it comes to popularity, it wins hands down from Australia.

And yeah, how can i forget about the most important thing : Education. Oxford's and Cambridge are world renowned for their education. Though i am sure they won't even want to take a look at my application, i am sure some other top notch universities will :)

This is what i have decided now :

1. Apply to a few universities in UK and hope to get an admit in the top notch ones.

2. In the meantime, wait for Perot Systems to give me a joining.

There's a lot of time left for me to choose between them, so i would just wait for both of them to become a reality pretty soon. Then i can choose my options to pursue my aspirations :D

! Coward !

Hey all,

I know its been a long time, and yeah i haven't given complete justice to the promise i made while starting this blog..but not even a single day went by when i didn't think about fullfilling my blog promise :(

So much happened in the past couple of months, i don't know how to list them all, but a few things stand out :

1. I got settled in a job with a bpo, and though its not a calling profile, its not even what i am supposed to do after working my ass hard to complete four years of Engineering studies ! However, the money is not an issue that i am facing right now ;-)

2. I had this weird incidence sometime back, that when i think about it, it gives me shivers. Though i am supposed to be a coward as an outcome of that event, i don't regret running away from the situation. I was driving, and then pulled over to drop someone, and the next moment, a strong guy (yeah, i accept, he had a better built than me) on a bike surfaced near my window and asked me to lower the glasses. I did, however, something inside me just stopped me short and i pulled down just enought to let that guy talk to me one on one. Then, he asked me to come out of the car...i brain acted smart enough to not just do that. The next thing i remember is a run-chase sequence that would make a bollywood potboiler a hit. At the next light, the guy managed to get my car blocked and he banged on the car (some dents are still afresh). However, i still appreciate my brain that it worked fine...and the way i maneouvered the roads and drove after that...would remain etched inside my heart forever. But, what happened (don't know for sure, why it happened !) is not what frightens me. I get shivers when i think about what i read in the newspapers about lives ending in road-rage on delhi roads, and about how easily people lose patience. I get terrified when i think about the fact that if my brain had managed to stop working or, my adrenaline would have pumped me enough to get into a tussle with that pyscho, god knows if i would have found my name there in the newspapers the next day :O

3. I am dead stuck in the fight between my ambitions and the current economic recession, i made this list of what i plan to achieve in next 3, 5, 10..and so on, years. I know the plans are big, but i believe in the adage "Shoot for the stars, you will land up in the sky" :D

4. I managed to write a song, all this while ;-)

Set me free, set me flying,

I can't live on, you know i'm dying,

Think of pain as my right,

not that i plan to fight it,

from what i have,

and what i ought to be,

suffering is what i get.

The pain seems an ecstasy,

i don't wanna backout.

I stand by my faith,

searching for a chance.

A chance to live and a chance to try,

coz i want to fly,

dream like i never had,

with her by my side,

i should care less.

Care less for the world so mean,

the life i want, would they ever give?

should i care about them, would i ever live?

The answers i can't find,

know for sure, you are by my side.

Set me free, set me flying,
I can't live on, you know i'm dying,

I'v never been the one!

Heya all,
I know i'v written a lot of crap all this while. So i thought why not try something new. As i sat down to write down this blog with a fresh idea, i thought of writing down a song (yeah, i'v written a number of songs). As soon as the thought struck, my brain started playing with words, deep inside it mess of nerves and whatever it has that makes it think :O

Anywys, coming back to this new idea, i somehow feel as if i can't completely trust my brain for giving me original thoughts. When i write something down on a piece of paper, it keeps hitting me as if i have read something like that earlier. I guess my brain makes a copy of something interesting i read and hide it at the back of its messy jungle of nerves and cells, somewhere deep down in the unconciousness. Always there but never visible. And when i start writing something it rushes down to that area and pull up some part of that hidden text to my concious level making it look original and somehow creating this doubt of putting me into copywrite trouble.
As complex as the world can get.

So now, finally coming back to the song. This song goes out to someone special, someone extremely close to my heart. I am confused whether she would like it or not. So before i play this out on guitar for her, i need your suggestions friend. Here it goes :

I'v never been the one to make you cry,
I'v never found a reason for this strife,
Was it me who's let you down?
Was it love that brought you to ground?

Hey beautiful, why'd you walk out on me?
Leaving me screaming with this pain.
I was meant to be the one for you,
Still you left me with so much disdain.

Whatever happened, I know it hurt you too.
Everything came just out of the blue.
Now that its over for good,
lets start afresh and make our dreams come true.

I would be the one to make you smile.
To wash your tears and live a new life.
I would be the one to make you cry.
Lets hold hands, so together we could fly.

That's about it, i guess. I actually sat down to write down a song. I don't think it would actually qualify as a song. But, whatever, its written with true feelings. Suggest whatever you can :)

bye for now.

Am I for Real??

Once upon a time, i used to think that i was possible the worst gifted human mankind has ever produced! I could not study well, i could not speak well, every time i tried my hands at any sport people could not help laughing at me, i lacked confidence. Some might say i was lost in the crowd, i would say i was worse.

Then engineering happened, i entered hostel life. First few days, i could only manage to cry and write diary, everything seemed so out of place, everyone seemed so much better than me - even those who not well known or who remained underground. It felt if everyone was rated on a scale of 10 i would get a negative 10 !!!

About 6 months later, the scenario changed - though i am still not sure what brought about this dramatic change. I started feeling as if no-one could compete me. Though i still was a loser in sport and didnt do to well academically. But, still there was this new me, who felt confident in whatever he did, whatever he said. I talked like never before, as if the old me was completely wiped out. I could make someone feel worthless just by talking - yeah yeah, its just to say, trust me i never did that ;-). The amount of self-confidence i had was impressive, sometimes it even lingered on the edge of getting over-confident!!!

But, what surprised me was the fact that 6 months in hostel and i had evolved like never imagined. And with that, came a sense of well being, of doing good, of never hurting someone, of never letting down someone, of never betraying, of honouring trust and of spreading a message that "This world is a beautiful place to live, if only we could make that possible."

3-4 years down the line, i have started feeling as if i am the lone fighter. Sometimes, i wonder why do "BAD people" exists? Dont they feel this strange sensation in their minds when they commit deeds that wont be qualified as civilized? Or, i am the only one who feels bad even if i talk rudely to someone, who feels guilty even after accidently killing an ant, who feels associcated to the emotions of animals who cant express themselves, who feels as if the bad should completely vanish from this world.

Trust me, disorientation of the mind is only the beginning. Once i saw a cow running after a bike. I suppose the pillion on the bike had the calf of that cow. The road had fair amount of traffic but still the cow ran as if nothing exist except for her child. Doesn't matter how hard i try to get that image out of my head, it still lingers on. And with it lingers the thought, are we humans incapable of such love? Those who commit crime - Did they never feel such emotions?

I dont know if the answers to these questions exist. But, from whatever goes through my heart and my mind when i wonder about 'the good and the bad', about the fact that almost everyone commits crime ruthlessly, almost everyone acts unfair or partial at times, almost everyone seems insensitive to such small things! These days i can only ask myself : Am i an emotional fool? Do i really care about everything around me? Why cant i act bad? Do i really exist? AM I FOR REAL????????

Troubled times

Trust me i reminded myself time and again that i need to write the blog to keep up my resolution. But alas, things never turn out the way i want them to be!

Had a hard time last fortnight, things seemed ugly to the core. A nice job lured my away from my ongoing job, and the final result being that i got nothing to do these dayz or in better words i am completely "jobless"! With the job went away, my dreams of getting a fossil watch by the end of this month :( and a lot more hopes.

On a personal level too, life seemed to be going on the wrong track. Everything seemed down and out. Then one bright day i woke up with a steely resolve to fight off all the negativity surrounding me and yeah i succeeded. Not exactly in fighting that negativity off, but succeeded in getting used to it ;-). Things dont bother me anymore, i'v become numb.

I was used to being optimistic all the time, but currently, getting a job seems a distant possibility.
And i cant even figure out what i am writing write now. OMG, my thoughts are deserting me now, i am in a deep shit. Cant even read what i'v written.
Better i signoff for now.
bye!

Ghostly Stories

Its been a long time since college got over. So i thot y nt join a call centre - after all 'the power of money' is known to the universe ( in a world whr ppl are killin almst evryone fr money) and earning loads of money jst by talking cn be termd as one of the mst creative thing man has ever done. Atleast no one cn blame this invention as one of the many that are destroying this planet.

Now, coming back to my story. Its been about a week since i joined the call centre. Nd i wud hv been surprised if i wsnt told something spooky about the building i was supposed to work in. After all, every place i hv been till now, has a ghostly story to tell.

First there was this school of ours that was supposedly built on a graveyard. Seemed it was, coz there wr a large no. of footprints that cud b seen while v assembled fr the assembly on the ground almost daily. Though its a different thing altogether that ony when we had gained enuf sense as to differentiate the good frm the bad that we cud identify that those footprints belonged to two huge dogs who wr let loose at nite in the campus.

Then we moved to college, we got to noe that there s this room in the hostel that is haunted...infact the ghost once asked our senior to lower his stereo's volume coz it ws very loud nd ws disturbing the ghost. And wen our senior refused to listen it himself did the honours by reducing the volume. Sure enuf we wud hv thot that our senior had been thru hell....bt there he ws narrating this incident to us...with a smile on his face. The best part ws that after that incident the college authorities refused to nmbr the room with '319' coz that ws supposed to be haunted. Infact, there wr two rooms with '320' as thier nmbr. Funnily enuf wen v moved to that block all the ghosts dissappeared yet again.

Now, in the call center, our training room...or rather the room adjoinin our training room supposedly has this witch with long hairs nd spooky nails. The surprising thing s that only ppl who are sick hv seen that witch..nd i shud appreciate their guts....evn after saying hellos nd welcomes to that witch they still passby that room.

Though its still early to give out jury whether its true or not...i jst hope this time...mayb this one time...i wud meet 'the ghost' that haunts almost every place i go. Otherwise, it wud b too hard to believe wht ppl hav to say ;-)

new beginning

been a long time since i wrote a blog...so thot may b lets start afresh...

so now onwards i promise to b regular with my blog (its a false promise i noe....bt wht the crap...atleast m trying :D)....

lack of time fr now....

bbye!