Heya all,
I know i'v written a lot of crap all this while. So i thought why not try something new. As i sat down to write down this blog with a fresh idea, i thought of writing down a song (yeah, i'v written a number of songs). As soon as the thought struck, my brain started playing with words, deep inside it mess of nerves and whatever it has that makes it think :O
Anywys, coming back to this new idea, i somehow feel as if i can't completely trust my brain for giving me original thoughts. When i write something down on a piece of paper, it keeps hitting me as if i have read something like that earlier. I guess my brain makes a copy of something interesting i read and hide it at the back of its messy jungle of nerves and cells, somewhere deep down in the unconciousness. Always there but never visible. And when i start writing something it rushes down to that area and pull up some part of that hidden text to my concious level making it look original and somehow creating this doubt of putting me into copywrite trouble.
As complex as the world can get.
So now, finally coming back to the song. This song goes out to someone special, someone extremely close to my heart. I am confused whether she would like it or not. So before i play this out on guitar for her, i need your suggestions friend. Here it goes :
I'v never been the one to make you cry,
I'v never found a reason for this strife,
Was it me who's let you down?
Was it love that brought you to ground?
Hey beautiful, why'd you walk out on me?
Leaving me screaming with this pain.
I was meant to be the one for you,
Still you left me with so much disdain.
Whatever happened, I know it hurt you too.
Everything came just out of the blue.
Now that its over for good,
lets start afresh and make our dreams come true.
I would be the one to make you smile.
To wash your tears and live a new life.
I would be the one to make you cry.
Lets hold hands, so together we could fly.
That's about it, i guess. I actually sat down to write down a song. I don't think it would actually qualify as a song. But, whatever, its written with true feelings. Suggest whatever you can :)
bye for now.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
Am I for Real??
Once upon a time, i used to think that i was possible the worst gifted human mankind has ever produced! I could not study well, i could not speak well, every time i tried my hands at any sport people could not help laughing at me, i lacked confidence. Some might say i was lost in the crowd, i would say i was worse.
Then engineering happened, i entered hostel life. First few days, i could only manage to cry and write diary, everything seemed so out of place, everyone seemed so much better than me - even those who not well known or who remained underground. It felt if everyone was rated on a scale of 10 i would get a negative 10 !!!
About 6 months later, the scenario changed - though i am still not sure what brought about this dramatic change. I started feeling as if no-one could compete me. Though i still was a loser in sport and didnt do to well academically. But, still there was this new me, who felt confident in whatever he did, whatever he said. I talked like never before, as if the old me was completely wiped out. I could make someone feel worthless just by talking - yeah yeah, its just to say, trust me i never did that ;-). The amount of self-confidence i had was impressive, sometimes it even lingered on the edge of getting over-confident!!!
But, what surprised me was the fact that 6 months in hostel and i had evolved like never imagined. And with that, came a sense of well being, of doing good, of never hurting someone, of never letting down someone, of never betraying, of honouring trust and of spreading a message that "This world is a beautiful place to live, if only we could make that possible."
3-4 years down the line, i have started feeling as if i am the lone fighter. Sometimes, i wonder why do "BAD people" exists? Dont they feel this strange sensation in their minds when they commit deeds that wont be qualified as civilized? Or, i am the only one who feels bad even if i talk rudely to someone, who feels guilty even after accidently killing an ant, who feels associcated to the emotions of animals who cant express themselves, who feels as if the bad should completely vanish from this world.
Trust me, disorientation of the mind is only the beginning. Once i saw a cow running after a bike. I suppose the pillion on the bike had the calf of that cow. The road had fair amount of traffic but still the cow ran as if nothing exist except for her child. Doesn't matter how hard i try to get that image out of my head, it still lingers on. And with it lingers the thought, are we humans incapable of such love? Those who commit crime - Did they never feel such emotions?
I dont know if the answers to these questions exist. But, from whatever goes through my heart and my mind when i wonder about 'the good and the bad', about the fact that almost everyone commits crime ruthlessly, almost everyone acts unfair or partial at times, almost everyone seems insensitive to such small things! These days i can only ask myself : Am i an emotional fool? Do i really care about everything around me? Why cant i act bad? Do i really exist? AM I FOR REAL????????
Then engineering happened, i entered hostel life. First few days, i could only manage to cry and write diary, everything seemed so out of place, everyone seemed so much better than me - even those who not well known or who remained underground. It felt if everyone was rated on a scale of 10 i would get a negative 10 !!!
About 6 months later, the scenario changed - though i am still not sure what brought about this dramatic change. I started feeling as if no-one could compete me. Though i still was a loser in sport and didnt do to well academically. But, still there was this new me, who felt confident in whatever he did, whatever he said. I talked like never before, as if the old me was completely wiped out. I could make someone feel worthless just by talking - yeah yeah, its just to say, trust me i never did that ;-). The amount of self-confidence i had was impressive, sometimes it even lingered on the edge of getting over-confident!!!
But, what surprised me was the fact that 6 months in hostel and i had evolved like never imagined. And with that, came a sense of well being, of doing good, of never hurting someone, of never letting down someone, of never betraying, of honouring trust and of spreading a message that "This world is a beautiful place to live, if only we could make that possible."
3-4 years down the line, i have started feeling as if i am the lone fighter. Sometimes, i wonder why do "BAD people" exists? Dont they feel this strange sensation in their minds when they commit deeds that wont be qualified as civilized? Or, i am the only one who feels bad even if i talk rudely to someone, who feels guilty even after accidently killing an ant, who feels associcated to the emotions of animals who cant express themselves, who feels as if the bad should completely vanish from this world.
Trust me, disorientation of the mind is only the beginning. Once i saw a cow running after a bike. I suppose the pillion on the bike had the calf of that cow. The road had fair amount of traffic but still the cow ran as if nothing exist except for her child. Doesn't matter how hard i try to get that image out of my head, it still lingers on. And with it lingers the thought, are we humans incapable of such love? Those who commit crime - Did they never feel such emotions?
I dont know if the answers to these questions exist. But, from whatever goes through my heart and my mind when i wonder about 'the good and the bad', about the fact that almost everyone commits crime ruthlessly, almost everyone acts unfair or partial at times, almost everyone seems insensitive to such small things! These days i can only ask myself : Am i an emotional fool? Do i really care about everything around me? Why cant i act bad? Do i really exist? AM I FOR REAL????????
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